Judge a book by its cover. Please do so guilt-free. Sometimes, you know it when you see it.
Road House (2024) shows a bloodied Jake Gyllenhaal looking stoic and calm. He dawns an unbuttoned guayabera while debris from a bar fight surrounds him. And… that’s it. That’s the movie. There are other moving parts but the cover tells it all. How does it compare to its 1989 predecessor release? I’m not sure the film wants you to think about that question very hard, as it follows the original story almost beat for beat.
Elwood Dalton (Gyllenhaal) is asked to protect a local road house from the town’s bad guys. Follows are bullets, body blows, and bombast. What makes the original an ‘80s classic is that the entire cast takes the film seriously. Or, at least, everyone plays it straight. Yes, it’s big fun in little Jasper, Missouri with monster trucks plowing through car dealerships and barkeeps trying to get laid during their cigarette breaks. However, the stakes feel like they matter.
In the original, when we get testosterone-fueled lines like “The story is: you f–k with him and he’ll seal your fate”, every moment feels like life or death. This current version is too sentient for its own good. Every joke is given with a nudge and a wink. Road House (2024) knows it’s ridiculous but there’s a charm in obliviousness that Doug Liman’s vision lacks.
The weight of the film falls on Gyllenhaal’s shoulders; he’s fighting a ghost but he’s choosing to evade rather than attack it. Patrick Swayze’s version of Dalton cools and has clear morals but Gyllenhaal observes and remains a mystery. If the story is the same, it is a smart choice to have your main character veer off the beaten path.
Road House (2024) lives in a big shadow but still knows how to have fun. Conor McGregor, however, has the most fun. He struts and preens as if he’s the star. As a villain, McGregor is a formidable opponent even if his character is absolutely bat sh–t. If you have a great ass, show it off.
Don’t come for a reinvention of the wheel. Come for action, laughs, and the charm of Jessica Williams.
Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars
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